|
August 13, 2008
NS Approaching... Friends depleting... Haiis../ 8:55 AM Geez.. Have been spending the past few weeks working and playing and fooling around. Realised that there isn't much thing for me to do now other than working and playing. Kinda boring life yea.. When i think about it, i'm mostly alone. Apart from my friends who are schooling or working. Haven't got what i would call " Fixed Party" of friends. Got to know a few guys from the lan shop. Actually, 2 guys. Though i don't really consider that hanging out with them would stabalise this friendship, they are always with me. Almost everyday. Was lying on my bed thinking of what would i do when NS comes. How would it be like. Will i be able to take it? I got answer to none of them. Instead, i suddenly thought of how lonely i would be the first few weeks when i enter NS. Yes i admit i'm scared of loneliness. Very scared. I don't think i can actually live alone when i grow up. Even if i do not get married, i can never live alone. And that thought linked to how many friends i actually got. My friends used to ask me " Heys, why is it that you're got so many friends?" I'll just simply shrug my shouders and give them a smile. When i think back, i don't really have many friends. There're times i feel that i'm so lonely, so bored. Nothing to do at all. That life is totally meaningless. But apart from all those thoughts, i realised that, i'm never alone. What i thought is that i really haven't got any friends to accompany me. But in reality, there's always someone there with me to get me through my day. It's not the same person with me everytime. When i look back, there's always a person hanging out with me. It's like it's all planned out that i would never be alone to spend my day. If asked to discribe, i'd say it's like a childcare centre with teachers taking shift to look after the kids. Whereas i'm the kid, they're the teacher. Well anyway, i'm glad that i had those friends there with me. Those that were my friends, was my friends and are still my friends, i thank you. Lost contact with many of them now. Distance grew as time passes. I really miss all of them. Wished i had a chance to get back to the past like we were before. Left less than a month before NS, Gotta cherish whatever time i have left before i go in. Ns for me, End Of Play Time. |
|